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Failure Is An Essential Element Of Success

Failure Is An Essential Element Of Success

Last month, a Princeton professor tweeted an unusual version of his CV that listed all of the fellowships, grants, degree programs and publications from which he was rejected.

Johannes Haushofer, an assistant professor of psychology and public affairs, wrote this explanation as a preface to his list of failures and rejections:

Most of what I try fails, but these failures are often invisible, while the successes are visible. I have noticed that this sometimes gives others the impression that most things work out for me. As a result, they are more likely to attribute their own failures to themselves, rather than the fact that the world is stochastic, applications are crapshoots, and selection committees and referees have bad days. This ‘CV of Failures’ is an attempt to balance the record and provide some perspective.

Indeed, failure is an essential element of success, as many entrepreneurs, inventors and leaders can attest. But that doesn’t make it feel any easier when it happens. A rejection can easily send you spiraling, making you forget — at least momentarily — that failure can be a stepping stone to future triumph. 

Among psychologists, education and parenting experts, there’s a renewed interest in researching our response to failure and the way it shapes our eventual achievements. Studies show that grit,...

These 7 Heartwarming Mother–Daughter Moments Will Give You All The Feels

These 7 Heartwarming Mother–Daughter Moments Will Give You All The Feels

Mama’s boys: begone; if you want a good tug on the heartstrings, there’s nothing like a classic mother-daughter story.

In the ongoing spirit of Mother’s Day, we’ve teamed up with SK-II and rounded up seven incredibly touching moments between mothers and daughters from around the world, celebrating the profound and unique bond shared between generations of women. Let us know if you have dry eyes at the end of this one. We certainly don’t.

1. When an Indian beauty queen thanked her mom for saving her life

When Pooja Chopra took the stage to be crowned Miss India-World in 2009, no one was prepared for what she said in her acceptance speech: “When I was 20 days old, my mother was asked to make a choice. It was either me — a girl child — or her husband. She chose me. As she walked out, she turned around and told her husband, ‘One day this girl will make me proud.’ That day has come.”

Now a Bollywood star, Chopra remains in awe of her mother, whom she described in her speech as the biggest influence...

The Morning Ritual: 5 Things to Do Before Breakfast to Clear Your Mind and Start the Day

The Morning Ritual: 5 Things to Do Before Breakfast to Clear Your Mind and Start the Day

It’s easy to wake up and just start running around the house like a crazy person making breakfast, checking email, putting dishes away, doing push-ups, rummaging through closet hangers for an outfit and getting the kids out of the house. Ambitiously, in the spirit of “getting it all done.”

Most of us can relate to a morning like that. And how it starts is typically how it ends.

Our days begin to look colorless and feel monotonous, and we can’t see the horizon because we’ve cluttered our view with tasks, obligations, chores and responsibilities. The weight of it all is debilitating.

We have only 24 hours in a day and sometimes that doesn’t feel like enough because we’re cramming too much in.

So much so that it’s confused us, clouded our focus and crippled our peace. Our effort to get it all done is actually counterproductive.

But what if we started a little slower and a little more thoughtfully? How would a peaceful start change our day, its course and momentum? How would our morning affect our focus throughout the day? How would it improve the way we speak to others, what we put in our bodies, and how we feel by the time we return home at night?

How can we use our morning to put us on the good foot? To open us up to receive what comes and to welcome it with open arms, whatever it is? I have an idea how...

We declutter our mornings.

We simplify how we begin.

You’ve heard it...

7 People You Will Lose In Your Life -- And How To Cope

7 People You Will Lose In Your Life -- And How To Cope

1. The Friend Who Let You Down

We all have one of these. Some of us have more than one. By which I mean, a friend who we may laugh with, cry with, work side by side with, but who we know way deep down in our gut, in the place where intuition lies, doesn’t wish the best for us. This friend may be a very good person in all sorts of ways. She may not even mean to hurt us. But hurt she does. So it went with Helen, my friend of 15 years. One afternoon, Helen came by the house for a visit. She brought along a woman I didn’t know. My son was having a big old toddler tantrum at the moment and I was delighted by the tantrum. He had been terribly ill as an infant and had very nearly died. I was all for normal toddler behavior. He was red-faced, screaming, stamping his little feet. Alive! Healthy! As I scooped him up in my arms, I overheard Helen’s companion ask her how old my boy was. And I caught Helen’s reflection in a mirror as she mouthed: He’s two, rolled her eyes, and shook her head. It was a dreadful moment—a reckoning, a realization of her judgment, her lack of empathy. I called her on it, eventually. But what was there, really, to say? She apologized profusely. I accepted that apology, but I knew that things would never be the same between us. Helen was part of my learning curve about who can be safely let into my inner circle. Lesson learned.

2. The Friend You Let Down

Sarah and I met in college...

3 Keys to Engaging Your Employees with Trust

3 Keys to Engaging Your Employees with Trust

Years ago, people went to work for one company for their entire career, knowing that they had job security. The entire work environment was structured with everyone having to come to one location to do their jobs.

Those days are long gone and, with the enormous amount of layoffs in the last decade, people have lost any sort of sense of security for their jobs. And the levels of trust have plummetted in companies, having a profound negative effect on their employees loyalty, engagement, and retention.

What employees may not have realized is that job security comes from within oneself. If you are passionate about your work and bring value to the market, you can find ways to make an income from it. On top of that, our world is changing rapidly with technology, eliminating the necessity for having to spend forty hours tied to a desk.

It comes down to empowering your employees. In fact, high trust companies outperform low trust companies by 600%!

We can gain insights from HCL Technologies, one of the leading IT Service providers in the world and one of The Most Amazing Company models featured in Engage!, that doubled its annual revenues during the global recession because it turned its pyramid upside down and made a conscious choice to put employees first—above...

9 Bedroom Habits That Could Save Your Marriage

9 Bedroom Habits That Could Save Your Marriage

For better or worse, the pre-bedtime habits you’ve formed over time have a huge impact on the wellbeing of your relationship. (For better = going to bed at the same time. For worse = self-grooming in bed. Just no.

Below, relationship experts share nine bedtime rituals that could change your marriage for the better. 

1. Escort your smartphone out of the bedroom.

A recent study out of Baylor University found that nearly half of us feel “phone snubbed” by our partners. Give your S.O. more respect than that: When it’s time to go to bed, turn off all devices and tuck your smartphone in for the night as well, said Aaron Anderson, a Denver, Colorado-based marriage and family therapist. (Use your phone as an alarm? Consider this your chance to buy a...

8 Mistakes That Are Ruining Your Skin

8 Mistakes That Are Ruining Your Skin

Do use a gentle nonsoap cleanser or moisturizing body wash.

Don’t leave cleanser on the skin for more than a minute.

Do wash with warm water rather than hot, which can cause dry skin.

Don’t waste your money on an antiaging body wash; ingredients don’t stay on the skin long enough to be effective.

Do make exfoliation part of your shower or bath routine to help slough off dead skin.

Don’t exfoliate every day; that can irritate. Twice a week is fine.

Do pay extra attention to rough spots like elbows, knees, and heels.

Don’t use products containing ground fruit pits — they can create microtears. Try a salt or sugar scrub, or a formula with glycolic or lactic acid.

Do apply moisturizer when you’re still damp from the bath or shower to trap water on the skin.

Don’t wait until you notice dry skin to start moisturizing; do it every day.

Do layer hydrating products, applying oil first and then a moisturizing lotion or cream to seal it in.

Don’t choose a heavily scented body lotion. The fragrance can cause irritation, especially on sensitive skin.

Do look for a sunscreen lotion with a broad-spectrum SPF 30.

Don’t...

8 Pieces of Advice I Wish I'd Listened To Before

8 Pieces of Advice I Wish I'd Listened To Before

Hindsight is indeed 20/20. I would not go back and change my decision to marry, even though it ended in divorce. Our experiences made me who I am today and my kids are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That being said, I would absolutely pay closer attention to these pieces of great advice before getting married again, because I now know how truly important they are.

1. Get married when you actually want to — not just because everyone else is doing it.
You don’t have to get married at a prescribed age or stage of your life. I know people who have married their high school sweethearts and are still going strong, and other folks who didn’t meet their soul mates until they were well into their 40s or 50s. It’s hard not to succumb to the peer pressure of your 20s when it seems like you are in a never-ending rotation of bridesmaid dresses and invites to bachelorette parties. But waiting until you are very, very sure it’s the right time for you is the most important thing. Sure,

10 Reasons Everyone Hates You (And What You Can Do About It)

10 Reasons Everyone Hates You (And What You Can Do About It)

If you’ve been following my blog since the very beginning you may have read my post on Why I Love Everyone. In that post I said you’d live a happier existence if you did your best to understand and love everyone. I still stand by that.

Let’s be honest though, 99% of the world doesn’t live by that philosophy so if you’re an annoying brat you’re not going to get very far in life. If you’re constantly being a jerk, or leeching off other people nobody’s going to want to have anything to do with you.

I’ve got a few haters myself, but for the most part people consistently tell me I’m a really likable person. I used to be the annoying leech though so I’m going to share with you some reasons why people hate being around you, and what you can do to change.

You’re A Value Sucking Leech

Relationships are like phones. They go both ways. If you’re constantly hitting me up for favors, yet you magically disappear when I need one it’s no wonder we don’t get along. What kind of brothership is that?

Now here’s the key. There’s multiple ways to leech value. It’s not just asking me to loan you money or do you favors.

For example, let’s say your a socially clueless loser and I’m your only friend. If I bring you to parties it’s probably going to increase your...

Why You Need To Travel Alone Now

Why You Need To Travel Alone Now

Often times, I tell my friends and family back at home that I am venturing off to Vietnam & Cambodia for a few days, or I am going to try backpacking through Myanmar (Burma) for some odd number of weeks, or that I have decided to run away to Thailand to see every city from Chiang Mai in the North to Ko Phi Phi in the South. And believe it or not, the questions are always the same; Where is (insert destination here)?What’s there to do in (insert different exotic destination here)? Why don’t you just go someplace closer? Isn’t that too long of a flight? Is it safe? Whom are you going with?

And while the people I may be telling are a bit biased Americans who have not left the country much, nor have much of a desire to travel, it never fails that I end up answering these questions more than I should. But that’s more then alright, because to me part of the fun of traveling to these exotic destinations is being able to talk about all these exciting places I am jet-setting off to with my friends and family. I enjoy getting to share all of my experiences I incur on my travels, and always come back with a plethora of unprecedented stories.

But more often than not, I am heading off to a lot of these exotic destinations alone, and people are genuinely concerned about my safety and well-being traveling to countries they’ve barely even learned about in school. However, I am not writing this blog post to discourage you from traveling,...